FSPC
by idioticonion
Summary: Robin made a throw-away comment in Mosbius Designs about her ideal man, describing her four attributes. Here are four double drabbles exacly 200 words each , one for each.


**FSPC**

**Funny**

"And he replied…" Barney said, barely able to get out the words for laughing. "He replied 'Looks like I did a pretty good job!'" His shoulders started shaking and he banged his hand down on the table.

Robin's lips twitched into a smirk. It wasn't that the joke wasn't funny. The joke was _gross_. It was just that… Barney's enthusiasm for the joke was funnier than the joke itself.

"It's not that funny," she said, rolling her eyes.

"You're kidding? It's hysterical! Tell her Ted."

Ted was covering his mouth with his hand but his eyes were twinkling. "It's pretty funny. At least you didn't get all offended like some people and not talk to us for days." He glared at Barney.

Barney looked panicked suddenly as Robin got up, reaching out to grab her arm.

She brushed him off. "Relax. I'm only going to the bar." She grinned. "It was pretty funny, Barney."

He sagged back into the booth in theatrical relief as she walked away, swinging her hips.

"You really think Robin would be offended by anything you do by now?" Ted asked him.

But Barney ignored him, grinning like an idiot, his eyes fixed on the bar.

**Smart**

Robin's taxes were a nightmare. She's spent some of the time employed, a month out of the country and too long mouldering in job-less hell. She had no idea how the figures were supposed to add up. This was going to take days!

She felt the back of her neck itch and realised that Barney had been watching her.

"Stop that…" She snapped at him, irritably.

He sat down at the table beside her and shouldered her out of the way until he was sitting at her laptop. His fingers flew over the keys.

"Barney!" She protested, as he began by deleting the hour of work she'd already put in.

"Will you quit your hollering?" He grumbled. "Go get me a beer?"

She got up, reluctantly, because she was sure he was playing a joke on her. But when she returned to the table ten minutes later with coffee (it really was too early for beer) he'd finished.

"Wow," she said, checking the figures. "And this isn't illegal?"

He chuckled, standing up. "Nope."

"And the IRS really owes _me_ money?"

"Yep!"

"Oh Barney!" She got up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're so…"

"Awesome?"

"Actually, pretty much!"

"Word."

**Passionate**

"She wanted me to kiss her." Ted complained.

Robin rolled her eyes as Barney slid into the booth beside her. "So, you could have faked it!" Robin suggested.

"What're we talkin' about?" Barney asked them, looking from one to the other with keen interest.

"You can't fake a passionate kiss with a girl you have no feelings for, just so you can sleep with her," Ted explained, frowning at Robin. "It wouldn't be right. Beside, she'd totally see through it."

Barney shook his head, taking a deep breath. Robin was sure he was going to launch into a tirade of rules and codes, slam down his glass and storm out.

But instead, he turned towards her, took her face in his hands and kissed her.

It went on for far, far too long.

There may have been tongue.

He pulled away, leaving her open-mouthed and breathless.

"I rest my case," he crowed triumphantly.

But she couldn't help feeling confused and more than a little turned on. "I'm not sleeping with you. Barney," she said.

"Damn!"

She shook her head, still in shock. "But Ted… if I didn't know better…"

Barney bounced in his seat. "YES!"

Ted shook his head, laughing.

**Challenging**

"Take it!" Barney said, his eyes flashing with anger. "It's better paid, and you've always wanted to go there."

The others glared at him.

Trouble was, even Robin didn't know if she wanted to take the job. Japan had been such a spectacular failure that she'd been burned for a long, long time. But at the same time, it was spring and the weather was warmer, the streets brighter and she was feeling more optimistic.

"She should go," Barney repeated.

He was the only one of them that wouldn't let her be, wouldn't let her get into a comfort zone.

"But won't you miss her?" Ted asked, pointedly.

"Of course I will! I'm madly in love with her! But, Jesus, Ted, it's not like we won't ever see her. And, hey, hello? That's what email and webcams are for. And anyways, the strip clubs in Paris are awesome. We could go visit her!" He sounded so excited that he obviously didn't notice his slip.

"Wait - you're in love with me?" Robin asked.

Barney turned to her, rolled his eyes, and with a huge grin said "Dur!"

It was such a Barney-response that she couldn't help but love him back.


End file.
